For many years I was engaged in healing work. I underwent numerous healings and I facilitated them myself as well. I found it fascinating to be clairvoyant and to find the deeper, unconscious causes of traumas. We discovered causes in our childhood, the time in the womb, conception, family lines, ancestors, other lifetimes and other civilizations.
All these readings and healings were about remembering who we truly are; about letting go of what we are not, so that what we truly are can shine and function optimally once again. Despite having a clear understanding somewhere deep down that searching for the cause of pain could never lead to a state of true wholeness and completeness, I always lost myself in the healing work again. So many times, the realization came that the focus, or rather the mindset of “parts of myself need to be healed in order for me to be fully fulfilled as myself,” was exactly what kept us from fully embodying who we truly are; that tuning into the frequency of lack can never lead to experiencing the completely different frequency of a state of wholeness.But apparently, I was not ready to really trust my own inner wisdom and let go the healing work.
All those years, and still to this day, meditation remained to be my greatest passion. However, I never resonated much with guided meditations that required visualizing various things. I could never quite succeed in that. Instead, I deeply enjoyed fully being in the here and now, effortlessly becoming empty and silent and allowing myself to be filled with what naturally wanted to emerge from within. Within that practice gradually something essential started to change: My conscious here-and-now-presence became stronger and stronger. My conscious being now feels even magnetic. This open, full and present conscious state draws me fully in and that is blissful. Here I become quiet and peaceful. Here I naturally come alive. There is no room for shadows or pain here.
As I became more present, I noticed that I was having an increasingly difficult time connecting with all those stories that used to captivate me. When I try to find the cause of pain within those stories now, it feels forced. It feels like moving away from myself, about becoming mentally and literally stepping into the shadow. I clearly experience that I am not to be found there and that I never was. All those stories I found were infinite variations of projections of myself in the shadow, infinite variations of not being fully present in the here and now.
Here and now, I open myself (more and more naturally) to relax into the state of pure conscious beingness. Relaxed being present as this open field of consciousness, I allow what is tense and unnatural to relax. I welcome all those contracted identifications and stories in which I feel unhappy. The pain they bring wants to be felt and absorbed in the field of consciousness without identification and attachment to stories. The relaxed resonance of pure, open (aware) beingness naturally absorbs them.
For me, it is finally crystal clear that my focus always needs to remain fully in the here and now. It is in this space that those parts of me that still long to come home reveal themselves effortlessly. From this present place of being I receive them in my clear awareness, in the light that I am. Here I increasingly experience that I am the source of my existence, my manifestation. It is only as conscious presence in the here and now that I bring myself to life as a person; only as source do I “turn myself on as a living being”. Nowhere else but where I fully am present, in this specific here and now, can the source of my life energy and joy be found.
If you would like to meet who you truly are in the here and now, you might be curious to find information about sessions with me on my website, purealignment.earth.